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Monday, September 24, 2012

Top 10 things that will happen now the recession has come to Countdown family

Shock, horror, the recession has come to the Countdown family adverts. Dad's been given the flick at work and minimum wage Mum has to pick up the extra financial stress by cutting the kids early childhood education program while shopping smarter. It all begs the question, what top 10 things will now happen to NZs favorite stereotypical marketing cliche?

Unemployed Countdown Dad gets bashed by Paula Bennett's welfare reforms after Government learns family have taken youngest child out of early childhood education.

Entire family packs up and moves to Sydney where Mum will earn 4 times what she was in NZ. Countdown children all end up working in a mine, Countdown Dad runs off with a stripper from the Gold Coast.

Adverts featuring mince as the main ingredient jumps 90%

Countdown opens MasterChef foodbank class.

Countdown son gets sacked due to lack of union coverage for workers.

Countdown Mum finds costs greater than the minimum wage can cover and starts turning discounted tricks as a part time prostitute.

Countdown Dad hurts his back working a part time job and finds the ACC investigation unit declines him claiming natural wear and tear.

Countdown launches its own Charter School employing graduates at 15 years of age with a Phd in Grocerology

Countdown Homebrands launch own condom range with support from Paula Bennett's beneficiary contraception plan.

Unemployed Countdown dad goes public with his complaints only to have Paula publicize all his private details.



At 24/9/12 7:35 am, Blogger Graeme Edgeler said...

Re: 10 - Countdown Dad cannot get a benefit because his partner works. Reforms don't affect him or them.

At 24/9/12 10:00 pm, Blogger Tim said...

Re: 2 - San Lu of China provide the lubricant - later found to induce spontaneous abortions. Shame they weren't around when Pulla Bent was an unwanted glint in parents eyes.

At 27/9/12 12:22 pm, Blogger Sam Reed said...

So are you saying someone can support a family of 5 on a part time, minimum wage job at a supermarket now? Are you also saying that because they don't qualify for assistance seeing they are earning above the threshold and the reforms won't affect them that they shouldn't bother concerning themselves with what the possible social and political implications are?


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