MFAT Transcript of what they think Key said
Hello, I'm John. I'm from NZ, I was on David Letterman. Do you like Flight of the Concords? Thanks to Hills for the yummy lunch, haven't had a feed like that for ages. Choice one. NZ is really chuffed with America suddenly remembering we live in the South Pacific again. I was chatting with Peter Jackson the other day, he did a lot of business in America, check with Warners Bros about how flexible we are. I'm pretty flexible, I can do 50 sit ups and not stop once. It's cause I'm so relaxed. I'm famous for it. When people say, 'what's that John Key like' they say 'pretty flexible'. I'm really relaxed about that.
Awesomeness, hope you all have a cool day. Chur.
US State Department Transcript of what they think Key said
Lord Jesus almighty bless America and may he smite all your enemies so that their women folk sob and you're ankle deep in their blood. Greetings, you will find our sacrificial offerings tethered at the alter. Our pitifully small country is yours to do with as you wish in your war against the Communist scum, may the Lord Jesus burn Beijing. Our children are yours to use in whatever conflict you like, we are more than happy to cover all their burial and body repatriation costs. Thank you a thousand times for considering their blood worthy of spilling for your grand empires. We would like to grant you everything Maoris own and feel free to take the South Island.
We are nothing to your greatness, please accept our gift of eyeballs and earlobes taken from every member of Caucus.