Why Dairy NZ, Sealord and Solid Energy need new mascots
The Dairy industry have launched their new spokesperson to defend them from claims that they steal all our water, pollute our water with cow shit and have the audacity to charge us prices at global rates.
And the new spokesperson, is a cow. Rosie the cow. I’m not joking, the Dairy industries response to the environmental degradation they cause the country is to appoint a cow as their spokesperson, or as they like to call Rosie, a cowbassador. So I asked Rosie if she thought it was a bit rich of the dairy industry ducking hard questions about their environmental impact by appointing a species of animal that can’t learn to speak English, let alone evolve a thumb on it’s hoof to type in order to answer my emails.
I didn’t get a reply.
But it is such a brilliant tactic I think other corporate polluters and wreckers of our environment should consider adopting new mascots to deflect that perception. Sealord could appoint Trevor the Tuna, who loves the All Blacks and Lion Red beer and thinks anyone complaining about sustainable fishing practices is a pinko who needs to harden up and sink more piss.
How about Colin Clean Coal as the new mascot for Solid Energy? He’ll be friendly and wholesome and will believe in abstinence before marriage, no drinking or smoking and be very open to 25% stake holdings in him by Chinese companies.