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Saturday, September 10, 2011

RWC Opening ceremony - how to polish a turd

When I joked for the last 12months about how Aucklandtransportisshit# would become the highest trending tweet of the RWC, I was of course hoping my snarling bile at how ill organized Auckland's public transport was looking would just be a bit of tongue in cheek.

Turns out it wasn't.

First, the good news, the opening ceremony was well done (it's difficult to fuck up fireworks), thankfully Maori saved NZ from looking about as culturally enlightened as a whites only Australian working mans club. Originally Maori weren't even invited to bring their waka in and it would have just been the usual geriatric antics of Dave Dobbyn and the Finn Brothers. In a way this managed to show the duality of NZ, a bunch of rich spoilt baby boomers singing the same boring tunes given preference over the energy and dynamism of a younger brown generation.


While our smarmy millionaire Prime Minister was smugly laughing at the critics of his Governments plan to spend ten million on a temporary cloud tent, our transport system fell over and had a heart attack. How this inarticulate, glowing nosed clown managed to be appointed CEO of the Ronald McDonalds that is NZ is just another reason to consider leaving the country if he wins in November again. Thank God he didn't mange to embarrass anyone with Maori jokes or camp mincing. BTW - Is it just me but is Key's boasting at the Pacific Forum of how NZ will beat everyone at the Rugby World Cup starting to sound like the arrogant wank of the kind of person you wouldn't piss on if they were on fire?

What we do best in NZ is polish turds. Bereft of the political leadership that can stand up to the motorway building power clique who really run Auckland alongside a Wellington political elite who have stolen billions in transport taxes while leaving Aucklands public transport infrastructure broken, we never have the investment into our public infrastructure and so are left to polish the lump of shit we've been left as if it's mana from heaven

Normally a Government upgrades public transport for an event like this, not in NZ, this month oversaw new public transport cutbacks. Instead we've poured half a fucking billion into stadium upgrades that will never pay off.

Great turd polishing NZ, pity about the infrastructure.

I live downtown and the morning after the city was inch thick in a film of greasy vomit and urine, you feel like wearing a condom before touching any of the ATM machines. Eeeew. And did anyone else notice how Boris Yeltsin sober Key was at the opening? Where is Steven Joyce the transport Minister in this fiasco?

In the meantime, let's reflect on the violence and sex attacks we can look forward to from our hyper macho rugby culture.



At 10/9/11 1:15 pm, Blogger Shirin Brown said...

Thanks for that - my sentiments exactly. And it was a disaster waiting to happen. Let's hope the embarrassment of not being able to get Aucklanders and the mighty tourists to sports events will force the government's hand into spending on decent PUBLIC TRANSPORT. Wasn't that supposed to be the big gain of the Supercity? And then the Rugby World Cup? Instead we get a plastic warehouse cloud, a toy tram and flowers on roundabouts.

Given the fact the government bangs on about productivity and they now have a dubious entity called the Blue Greens, it seems a nobrainer that they'd want a public transport system that serves the needs of its biggest city.

As they seem incapable of listening to Aucklanders we probably need some vocal foreignors organising a public protest on Queen Street. That would sort it out.

Go Len Brown in pushing for public transport options and shame on the government and roading lobby for shafting the Mayor and supporters of a Rail Link.

At 10/9/11 1:57 pm, Blogger bchapman said...

How many haka's can you do in one day. Does anyone realise that threatening to kill your neighbour every ten minutes is only someone you do as a last resort.

At 10/9/11 5:54 pm, Blogger Dr Syn said...

Rugby World cup, or as I like to call it: Hell comes to Aotearoa.

At 11/9/11 10:45 am, Blogger countryboy said...

Bare with me as I go frolicking down memory lane to La La Land . La la la la ... ! Oh look ! There's Kiwi Bank jim bolger ! Didn't he sell NZ rail to Wisconsin Rail so as they could use our rail infrastructure to secure tax benefits back home in the good ol US of A and in the process made millions for his mates in the know ? While we lost our public rail system altogether as fuel prices crawl up like a ferret up ones trousers ? La la la la .... ! Oh look ! Isn't that jim bolger again ! Was he not appointed to the new look Kiwi Rail after we , us tax payers had to fork out to the Aussies to get our rusting old shitter trains back ? La la la la ! Oh look ! Isn't that bolger being chased by an angry mob with pitchforks and varied types of gardening implements ? No ! It is not . What a pity ! La la la la la ... ! Oh look ! Is that the dumbest , most gullible , most psychologically fucked population of people in the developed world who'd rather kill themselves in ever increasing numbers than fight back ! ? Why , yes it is ! La la la la la la la .... ! Oh look ! I see a powerless population of debt ridden people trying to by pass the horrible truth by hoping they'll be distracted by a few big fellows rubbing their thighs together as they chase a ludicrously over sponsored , funny shaped ball . La la la la la ... ! Now I see a population of people convinced that making do with less is better than insisting they get their fair share , by a few old , dirty, rich bullies . La la Land isn't safe anymore either it seems . While Maori people put on a good show of solidarity and show respect for their culture , we , us beige people flounder like broken winded horses under a debt mountain heaped upon us by big , nasty, dirty, old men in suits . They give us rugby and tinsel while the media looks into how the ' sex industry ' hopes to fair . Outside , vomit and piss stain the streets . roger douglas , you should be proud of you achievement ! You've brought a brave and brilliant country to it's knees . jimbo bolger , you've destroyed a vital rail infrastructure , muldoon would be proud of you . All you vicious , soulless bastards whom have herded the bulk of New Zealands population into a ' super city ' ( gag ! ) and now torture them with the specter of a doomed economy of falling wages , rising costs and net loss migration should pat yourselves on your fat backs . You've pulled off one of , if not THE greatest con job known to developed economies . Good on ya mates ! Fuck a stranger , punch a friend , piss on that , shout out like a brain damaged baboon down an empty street , say Sweet As a lot , and if you open your mouth and show you think , you're a dick ! Go the footy !

At 11/9/11 3:35 pm, Blogger Tim said...

....let the turds fall where they will. If ever there was the opportunity to wake up one or two sleepy Hobbits - this is it. A turd or two fired in the correct direction (polished, processed or otherwise) will land exaclty where they will. Len Brown is panicking - but so too Stevie Boy Joice (Zwass).
Tuff shit to all. Cudda Shudda Wudda


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