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THE WAR ON NEWS:In this weeks political media crimes against reason kill zone
Kiwi Camp in Afghanistan really secret CIA base, TVNZ focuses on Happy Feet's bladder infection
International indignation at human rights in Libya - and other jokes
Tiki Taane Fornicates off the constabulary
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posted by Bomber @ 5:51 am
2 comments
2 Comments:
FYI....(and in breaking news) Happy feet is not, and will not ever marry.
In an exclusive emotional interview with Mark Walruss, he explained how he'd contracted the HPV virus whilst in NZ waters. The anal warts that have resulted, whilst he again began swimming north towards NZ have almost consumed his entire body and preoccupied most of his thoughts on that traumatic journey.
Happy Feet conceded that the reason he was heading north to NZ was in the hope he could again "knob" with Walrus and the TVNZ crew.
His true friend and confident Mark was the only thing that kept him going on the long and painful journey as the flapping and flopping was was aggravated by his anal wart condition.
Happt Feet said that although he was attracted to the Espiner and Garner advance, and flattered by them, he was adament that Walruss was his true friend and confident.
He divulged how he'd been traumatised by the Espiner and Garner attempt to gain exclusive access to his story and his ass (on the down lo) at a Houghton Bay adddress.
Wellington Penguin Police confirmed today they were investigating the incident and would issue a comprehensive statement shortly.
Traumatised, and coming to terms with his identity, Happy Feet remained hopeful that on arrival back in NZ, he would be welcomed back into the fold where he could receive further treatment for his condition.
Prime Minster Jon Koi - elated and smiling at the prospect Happy Feet would "wuns gearn be Gracing Hour shures" today shewed a state mint in which he sured Happy Feet that NZ would do "evry thing init spouwa to inshewer a safe roival bek here, AND a heppy in safe loif go-un forwid".
He sured Happy Feet that tha Newsillun Navy "wood all sew in shewer his jernee wouldn't be in truptid by there zins and there zins of 'Shree Lank in boat people smug Lers' on his jernee.
Key also sured the publik that he head the full becking and conf dense of Stray Lee in publik and its Proim Minsta Jool-ya Gill-yard
In TVNZ's Closeup Programme last night, Walruss said he hoped the gubbmint would heed the seriousness of the anal wart condition and ensure more resources were put into its prevention and treatment. Walruss noted it was a condition similar to 'Ramona's Rash' which reeked havoc on him Earl Year in his crear, but which he'd now come to terms and learnd to live with.
Oh God ! Ok , here's a thought . We're fucked . Watch these films . THX 1138 and if you think that's the specter of an authority that's breathing down your neck , watch Idiocracy as an antidote because , while it's a little freaky close to reality , it's a giggle . We are fucked ladies and gentlepersons ! Here's another idea . Move into the country . Get as far away from the cities as possible and learn to grow spuds and carrots . Maybe get a chicken and a sheep . They make good company and are delicious . john key and his freak show are here to stay and they'll drag us down the gurgler . On an international level , the CIA is not going anywhere while they protect them there Good Ol Oil Boys whom pay their wages . It's gone way too far for even those with the best intentions to head off and I fear for us all , including me and mine . Buy a piece of dirt and before you know it , you'll be settled in but keep your head down . In time to come , just look way up there . In the sky , past the larks singing and the clouds floating by . There's a drone loaded with a bomb funded by you and I as we buy our cell phones and i stuff looking down you shirt collar for any dissidents wanting peace and personhood . I get a creepy feeling that while we learn and become aware and against all odds I must say , there are those evil fuckers out there who are ten steps ahead and God only knows what they have in store for us all . So , take your Prozac because you may be too anxious to function and your viagara because you may be too anxious to function . Pay your credit card payments while you succumb to being encouraged to live beyond your means but don't for fucks sake look up . Bomber , I noticed you posted your views at 5.51 am . A big hug to you mate . Well done for giving a shit .
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