Book of Revelations Rapture alert: Laws and Peters to open the last seal from the Angel of death

Key hints at NZ First deal if Peters stands
Prime Minister John Key yesterday indicated National might consider working with NZ First should leader Winston Peters make good on his pledge to stand at the next election. Mr Key yesterday told TVNZ National would decide if it could work with NZ First once Mr Peters confirmed he was standing.

News that Winston Peters brand of xenophobic nationalism could combine with the talkback kneejerkery of Michael Laws in a re-launched NZ First had tens of thousands of evangelical Christians fleeing to an underground militia rapture commune in Gore this week. Many Christians consider such an inhumane resurrection of NZ’s original Molotov–Ribbentrop Pact as akin to the dead returning from the grave.

As part of their unholy marriage ceremony, an elderly persons sense of self esteem was sacrificed by limiting the amount of sherry fuelled harbour cruises each member of Grey Power can claim with their gold card mark of the beast.

The Policies of a Peters-Laws NZFirst would see gypsies rounded up, the removal of all h’s in any Maori place name and a mandatory life sentence for anyone who burns the flag.

The next sign of the Apocalypse is scorpions falling from the sky with human faces, or Michael Laws appointment as Minister of Justice, whichever one happens first.