John Key's top 10 aspirations on Letterman

Optimist Prime's top ten Letterman aspirations


Number 10 on John Key’s top 10 Letterman aspirations

"You buried Ted Kennedy, I can top that, I buried Kashin: Haha, Key wins again!"

Number 9 on John Key’s top 10 Letterman aspirations

"I will make Flight of the Conchords New Zealands best most popular folk duo, up from 4th: Top marks to the Key."

Number 8 on John Key’s top 10 Letterman aspirations

"I don’t think TVNZ are compliant enough yet. Can I swap you Paul Henry for Glenn Beck: The Keyman shoots and scores."

Number 7 on John Key’s top 10 Letterman aspirations

"Remember all the spectacular scenery in the Lord of the Rings, I’m going to dig the lot up for foreign owned mining companies so that it really will look like Mordor: Key-miester on his game!"

Number 6 on John Key’s top 10 Letterman aspirations

"Afghanistan isn’t half full of Talaban, it’s half full of strangers who are civilians we just haven’t bombed yet."

Number 5 on John Key’s top 10 Letterman aspirations

"Whenever someone asks where’s the vision just say, Bike track, Bike track, Bike track:"

Number 4 on John Key’s top 10 Letterman aspirations

"Never respond to Richard Worth text messages after 10pm. This Key doesn’t open that lock."

Number 3 on John Key’s top 10 Letterman aspirations

"I’m just like Obama, except richer!"

Number 2 on John Key’s top 10 Letterman aspirations

"I promise to only mention I’m from a state house 50 million more times."

Number 1 on John Key’s top 10 Letterman aspirations

"Replace Rodney Hide with Rhys Darby and see if anyone notices."