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Thursday, March 26, 2009

John Key to personally butcher seal pups and polar bear cubs


(Above: Proposed National Party Caucus meeting next week)
Cost-cutting Key aims at Labour's polar bears
Prime Minister John Key says several of Labour's "hug a polar bear" programmes are on the hit-list as the Government tries to cut costs.
Mr Key said his ministers had uncovered several ineffective programmes with the "nicest, friendliest sounding names" during detailed reviews of their departments. "The 'hug a polar bear programme' will survive. It doesn't matter what recession occurs, it sounds like a really nice name.
"But the reality is if you look below the surface, the hug a polar bear programme might not do that much for polar bears. And if it doesn't, then we shouldn't continue to fund it." Mr Key would not identify the programmes but said there was a series of them.


Are you kidding me? Look I realize that the National Party spin doctors are needing to come up with more subtle messages than “Bhahahahaha, we won, you lost and now we are going to ride the country to the very gates of rape and pillage privatization to sell the lot off to our corporate masters” but ‘hug a polar bear programme’? I understand that National has to continue to throw raw meat policy to their barking right wing redneck talkback loving voters, but something as inane as ‘hug a polar bear programmes’ to smokescreen the wholesale massacre of public policy is just so eye rolling - why don’t National go the whole bloody hog and just declare they will club baby seal and polar bear cub programmes to death, we all know that was the first draft from National’s spin Dr’s. Someone may have been frightened that the Maori Party would see it and demand an inquirey into clubbing marine animals, so it became ‘hug a polar bear programmes’, and what programmes?

-Making Government Departments responsible for their carbon footprint
-physical activity programmes for children
-live sheep exports
-Privatization of prisons
-Privatization of ACC pretending it’s because of a crises
-Giving the Police power to take your DNA based on mere suspicion of a crime.
-a 9day fortnight that actually ends up costing workers
-preparing TVNZ for privatization
-10% employment cuts in the public sector when caps were promised as opposed to cuts.
-dismantling pay equity for 46% of the working population because to National women don't matter as much as slashing wage costs
-90 day right to sack in an unemployment environment that ranges from 7% to 14%
-Borrowing for Tax cuts that favour the rich
-Junk food back into schools because Anne Tolley is now Ronald McDonalds new girlfriend
-The molestation of the select committee process with a misuse of urgency that you would need to go back to 1998 to find a comparison.
-Truancy fines raised to $3000
-$35 million on military boot camps that don’t work but make middle class voters feel smug
-Gutting the RMA pretending it’s cutting red tape when really it’s burning Green tape
-Dismantling the ETS and holding a right wing inquisition into the ‘science’ of global warming
-Medieval law and order policy pushed through by a right wing homophobic drunk who now wants to meddle with the NZ Bill of Rights so his $30 billion 3 strikes and you’re locked up forever raw meat law can pass


National are now revealing what the left always criticized them as, a hard right wing government in drag moderation. Smokescreen arguments that only crazy politically correct programmes (note these Daddy Staters are still trying to use the talkback generated myth of the Nanny State to defend their demolition of the civil society) will get slashed makes the claim by National that there are only 39 000 state jobs when the reality is closer to 45 000 something the (knee)capped public sector should start sweating over.

6 Comments:

At 26/3/09 3:52 pm, Anonymous Gosman said...

I love the way that Bomber thinks some National party polices should be sacrosanct such as capping the Civil service but others should be dropped without a murmur like Tax cuts.

I know which I would prefer to abandon in the current environment and it isn't keeping unproductive civil servants in their jobs.

 
At 26/3/09 7:57 pm, Blogger barvasfiend said...

I for one, would pay good money to see Mr Key present his policy to the Polar Bears, and receive a big, furry, Arctic reach-around for his troubles.

I think Bomber is right to be a little hysterical - some of National's new policies are pretty frightening, especially the law and order ones.

 
At 26/3/09 9:15 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been a huge fan of Bomber for many years but this post was a little desperate. We were not told what the seal cub hugging club or w/e actually does, for all we know Key might be 100% accurate in stating "the reality is if you look below the surface, the hug a polar bear programme might not do that much for polar bears."

I mean cummon... there are starving children in Africa that could be fed with a lot less than the money being pumped into hugging polar bears.

 
At 27/3/09 2:39 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

there are starving children in Africa that could be fed with a lot less than the money being pumped into hugging polar bears.

Yeah but no one is seriously funding the 'hugging of polar bears' are they you dimwitted fuck knuckle?

You think JK is going to divert his slash and burn cash savings to starving African children?

He'll divert it into the pockets of his rich mates more like.

 
At 27/3/09 4:46 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bomber likes winding righties up. He doesn't believe half the bollox he writes, but it's good for ratings.

Oh, and for about the 989th time Bomber, ACC won't be privatised, it'll have competitors introduced into it's sphere of ops. There's a considerable difference. Who exactly do you think would buy such as basket case?

 
At 20/3/12 3:13 pm, Blogger Frank said...

Hmmm, a couple of right wingers have been offended by Bomber's post... Obviously then, Bomber is doing his job.

"We were not told what the seal cub hugging club or w/e actually does, for all we know Key might be 100% accurate in stating "the reality is if you look below the surface, the hug a polar bear programme might not do that much for polar bears." "

Anonymii - that is precisely the point; we don't don't which programmes Key will be slashing because he hasn't told us. And Aunty Herald hasn't bothered to poke and prod to find out.

For all we know, it's another of Key's porkies and he simply pandering to hillbillies in Talkbackland...

Gosman - "I love the way that Bomber thinks some National party polices should be sacrosanct such as capping the Civil service but others should be dropped without a murmur like Tax cuts. "

That's because Key made his irresponsible promises to cut taxes in 2008 - by which time we had a full-blown Recession.

What idiot promises tax cuts knowing full well we're in recession and will have to borrow to fund those cuts?

Have you not paused to think WHY National had to borrow $380 million a week after the April 2009 and October 2010 tax cuts???

Think, Gosman, think!

 

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