From our, "Love-you-better-have-a-better-fucking-alibi-than-this-because-if-this-is-all-you’ve-got-get-used-to-life-behind-bars" file

Masked man stabbed my boy - Mum
A teenage mother accused of stabbing her two-year-old son says the boy was attacked by a masked man who forced his way into her home. Kim Knoll, 19, is charged with attempting to murder her son at her Te Aroha home on May 5 this year by stabbing him with a boning knife. She also faces an alternative count of wounding with intent to cause grievous bodily harm.
At the start of her trial at the High Court in Hamilton yesterday, Crown prosecutor Louella Dunn told the court that Knoll had given two differing accounts of how her son received his stab wound. The Crown alleges Knoll stabbed her son in the stomach at her Centennial Ave home and then tried to suffocate him with a pillow. Ms Dunn told the jury that in an interview with police, Knoll said she had been confronted by a masked man in a nearby park on the day of the incident. The man had been armed with a knife and demanded money. Later that day, Knoll said, the man turned up at her home and forced his way into her bedroom where he stabbed her son and then tried to suffocate him. In a second statement, however, Knoll said a tattooed man named "Wally" had accidentally stabbed the toddler while playing with a knife in her bedroom.

For the love of Christ Kim, if you’re going to brutally stab your own child and try to suffocate him, shouldn’t you at least try a bit harder with the alibi love?

Let’s see, 5 excuses more believable than the one she’s concocted..
1: He was playing with the knife, stabbed himself and fell onto the pillow.
2: The dog did it.
3: The gangs did it
4: A half gram of P did it
5: The Nanny State did it.

But let's not single out attempted child killing mothers, waddabout this guy!

Accused of video taping rape
A man on drugs videotaped himself raping a woman before laughing while watching the footage in front of her, a jury in the Invercargill District Court has been told. Mark John Hird, 27, is on trial in the Invercargill District Court after denying charges of rape, sexual violation, attempted sexual violation, kidnapping, injuring with intent to injure and burglary. He admitted another charge of assault at the start of his trial yesterday.

Hird tells us this was consensual sex and that she had sex with him because she was hoping he would leave the house, and while he admits to punching the other male in the house repeatedly in the head, he denies that he stomped him in the head, a very important difference. Hmmm – let’s see Mr Hird, if the sex was consensual why did you need to punch the other male in the house in the head, and surely even if the women in question agreed to have sex with you to stop punching the male in the head, that ‘consent’ to sex isn’t really ‘consent’ at all is it Mr Hird?

You can almost hear the banjo twanging when you look at his face can’t you?