Child abuse figures up
The deep seated problems we seem to have to abuse and hurt children is well recorded. News that abuse rates are going up is added shame. Men need to take responsibility for the violence they inflict upon children and part of that process must be the dumping of anger as the only emotional response we allow ourselves. I really think the macho bullshit we as Men in this country seem to wrap ourselves in is a big part of our problem.
The number of child abuse cases investigated by welfare authorities has increased significantly since 2000, says the National Party.
MP Anne Tolley released official figures showing cases of emotional abuse rose from 78 in December 2000 to 479 last December.
Sexual abuse cases increased from 12 to 58 for Maori children and 15 to 50 for Pakeha children.
She said substantiated cases of abuse totalled 13,000 last year, up from 6000 in the year 2000.
The minister in charge of the Child, Youth and Family Department, Ruth Dyson, said the work CYF had been doing and increased awareness of family violence had resulted in more people making notifications.
NZ Herald
posted by Bomber @ 2:21 pm
19 comments
19 Comments:
As a 'victim' (don't you hate that word!), I have to agree with Mark. Some men in this country are just cowardly wife beating, child beating control freaks. But let's not put all you guys in the same category.
There are also some pretty awful mothers out there - not the ones who are in such a position as to feel powerless to protect themselves or their children, but really bad mothers who just don't seem to care - who beat their children, subject them to unspeakable cruelties and general neglect.
Yes, there are some really bad men in the country ... but also some mums who could do with a bit of parenting supervision or training.
NS
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And I think that as men Mark, we have to be the ones who stand up and work this shit out - we have to become involved in the debate and involved in lifting those standards
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NS - you are absolutly right - yes there are some shit mothers out there as well - but the majority of domestic violence is at our doors as a gender, and as men we really have to start fronting up to that rather than pointing the finger and saying 'them too'. Yes bad mums need help and in the worst cases the loss of the children - but I think there is a long list of our own we need to get through before we are in any position to point fingers.
I agree Bomber ... I'm talking as one of the good mums ;-)
NS
Oh, and as one of the beaten wives ...
NS
Good on you, Bomber, it's true - men need to "own" (sorry about the psychobabble) the problem. And it needs to start with trying to find different ways of coping with stress or provocation. Just further down thread there's the article about a cop who beat up a handcuffed suspect - and some of the comments seem to imply that at least some of the readers of Tumeke think that was an acceptable way of dealing with the situation. It's just a short hop from thinking it's OK to beat a
"criminal", to it's OK to beat your kid if he or she gets cheeky - or perhaps your wife if she nags you.
And I know it's not "all men" - but it's only going to end when other men won't put up with their mates behaving like that.
So if all men need to own this problem, do all maori need to take responsibility for their own crime problem? Or is the latter an unacceptable generalisation to make, and the former fine? And do all muslims need to own the problem of terrorism?
Ahhh - Mike Laws,watch out you'll confuse them.
AB
It would be interesting to see a racial breakdown on child abuse figures. Certainly in some cultures the use of violence would appear to be more acceptable than in others.
dear mike, i am a maori who comes from a no hitting family. of course there must be muslim people who do not hit. you know, i even reckon there are 'pakeha' [a maori word derived from the pakepakeha meaning white/pale of skin] who do not use violence. violence is a weak person's way of relating his or her frustrations over the circumstances they often find themselves in or to try and gain power over another. it's not a maori way, or, i'd hazzard a guess, a muslim way. it would seem more responsible if the race issue wasn't raised every time there's a problem. all that stuff goes on in spades in west aucks and the wairarapa. but i don't think all you white folk behave like that. it's just some, letting the others down.
here is a maori attitude to violence
can aotearoa be violence free? - absolutely
the way forward
tariana turia, co-leader, maori party
whanganui memorial hall; tuesday 3 october 2006
there was a question asked early on in the workshops which got me thinking. a simple enough question: do we believe that aotearoa can be violence free? the response was resounding. not one hand went up. i am hopeful that if we were to ask that question now, that the hall would be a sea of hands, all proudly, passionately proclaiming, yes; we believe we can make the difference. we owe it to ourselves, our whanau, our mokopuna, to be violence free. we have to believe we can make a difference. we have to believe in the value of toi ora - of holistic well-being, that we can be purposeful in all that we do, to be life-enhancing. all it takes is three little steps. tamati kruger, this morning, has given us inspiration coupled with practical ideas, about how to achieve mauriora.
mauriora - ultimate and optimal well-being - is an ongoing journey which involves
– dispelling the illusion that violence is normal;
– removing opportunities for violence to occur;
– transformative practice, sourced in our kaupapa.
the first critical step is recognising that violence diminishes the potential of whanau. we need to stare at the many faces of violence: how we speak to each other, how we treat others, the institutional violence of ‘power over’. to recognise economic violence, when people are denied access to resources and power; when their dignity, and even their existence is under threat. being able to see and feel spiritual poverty. as tamati says, it is the assassination of hope. violence can also be demonstrated in denigrating someone’s project or idea - when you choose not to make it work. i wonder if the hostile treatment that project mauriora has faced through lack of sustainable state support is an example when those in power chose not to support greatness, ideas sourced in our kaupapa. and i will say to you all, that the maori party will heed the call from our kaumatua, john maihi, this morning, that we will leave no stone unturned in demanding that project mauriora must continue to be supported as a project that works, that has results, that has the power to achieve universal well-being and happiness. a world free of violence. mereana described all violence as having a whakapapa. tim metcalfe brought the stark reality of that whakapapa to us yesterday -intimidation, threats, assault, sexual violation. i know that some in this hui found his workshop challenging - but in order to address violence, we need to know it, to breath it, to smell it - no matter how uncomfortable it makes us feel. tim told us about terror. he talked about the way in which responsibility is shifted, control is exerted, sometimes all it takes is the look in the eyes. he identified the violence of colonisation; a theme which nayda also picked up on, in her account of the alienation that was entrenched over generations in her whanau. inter-generational despair. archie expressed the anger and hopelessness we have experienced with the foreshore and seabed confiscation; the actions of a government intent on removing references to the treaty from legislation, from education. he gave voice to the anger that has built in us all, through the recent statements about whakapapa being diluted, the hurt we have all felt about someone wanting to define us; to deny us our right to be maori. mereana also expressed the grim impact of internalised hatred, aided and abetted by the impersonation of power. and she gave proof to the fact that humour is indeed a way of helping us to cope. but if all of these actions reduce or diminish our potential - the upside is that whanau also have the opportunity to unleash the potential of whanau like no other group can. indeed, whanau are the key.
and i share, with all those who stood in awe this morning, to honour the wana, the wehi, the ihi of the korero laid down. we breathed, we experienced, we felt the thrill of life, the awe of life, the excellence of inspiration. tamati enraptured us, embracing the fullness of wairua, hinengaro, ngakau, tinana so that we could know it. so that we could feel it. so we can be it. mauriora! the second step in the mauriora framework is to remove opportunities for violence to occur.
once we have identified the intent and impact of violence; we must look at the contributing causes of violence within our society, our whanau, hapu, iwi, our communities. we need to look at the areas where there are risks and face them front on. alan johnson talked about south auckland : social hazards like pokie machines, loan sharks, liquor outlets, gambling venues. professor mason durie made such a huge impact on the hui with his application of the tikanga of the marae - and how we can consider factors such as time, boundaries, distance, space in ways which can help us to be violence free. i must admit i was surprised that as a descendant of whanganui, no-one stood to question the use of the concept ‘kawa’. i remember my cousins matiu and joan saying absolutely definitively, that for us in whanganui we consider kawa as te kauwae runga - those atua-given gifts that come to us; while tikanga is te kauwae raro - the man-made factor that we can do something about. we must look to our kaupapa - from which flows our tikanga - to provide us with opportunities to create transformative practices. and as mason talked about - it’s knowing the whole picture: mana is not just about being strong and powerful; mana also evolves from manaakitanga, the way in which we care for people.
so the third step, is in truly believing and understanding the value of our kaupapa and tikanga as tools for transformation. to recognize the whanau impact assessment that needs to take place not just in the processes of designing and implementing policies but in our living rooms and our wharekai. the question that piri left us with yesterday, was what can i do, to give strength to my whanau? the tikanga of our marae life - celebrating collective action, the standing of the group as a whole, encourages us to think broadly about what are our rights, and our obligations in responding to the circumstances of the whanau. how do we apply the concept of tikanga to our families, establishing safe spaces apart which will help nurture a relationship; respecting the boundaries between generations? the whakatauaki from rawiri - in quoting popeye - says it all - “if it is to be; it is up to me”.
we must be bold enough to look at the impact of violence in our own lives, and trust that true liberation will come from our kaupapa. and i want to really mihi to every single one of you here today. i felt such a rush of hope when i walked into this crowded hall yesterday, and could feel the awesome potential of you all gathered here. to see such a huge turnout for such a soul-shattering issue is incredibly affirming. you have all demonstrated courage in coming to this hui, having the faith to know that together, we can change this. and i give particular tribute to the leadership and vision of nancy tuaine, in making this day happen. in standing up to be counted. we must apply that same faith now, to truly living our kaupapa.
i know it isn’t always easy. the maori party has upheld tikanga derived from kaupapa such as manaakitanga, kotahitanga, whanaungatanga, wairuatanga, kaitiakitanga, whakapapa, te reo, mana whenua, rangatiratanga; right from the day we were launched, in this very memorial hall, on 10 july 2004. even though i thought i believed in key basic values such as respect, there have been times over the last two years, when it would be so tempting to fall into conflict or mana-diminishing behaviour. rangatiratanga involves hard work. and until it becomes automatic, it may take practise. taking risks, edging towards the middle, rather than the back row. it may mean re-learning a new way - like tisa told us -for some families, learning that the fridge is for kai, not just beer.
making the changes necessary so that our children don’t become the parents they fear. i recall in our time at pakaitore, for many of our young people, it was their first experience of marae living. the discipline inherent in our tikanga and our kaupapa were critical to our safety - and a powerful learning experience about what we needed to stay strong. we must believe we can do it. we owe it to ourselves to liberate ourselves, to have hope and faith, to trust that we know what are the best solutions for us. we have to show we can do this - that our tikanga is important to us, that project mauriora works because it is based on our values. nothing would disappoint me more than if after leaving this hui, the providers that have come, adapt the information and handouts to enable them to get more resources, to get more services, to provide more services back to whanau. there has been korero throughout the hui about resources, about providers, about agencies, and quite rightly, we mustn’t let the state off the hook. we must ensure our basic citizenship rights are supported, that there is sufficient investment to enable our people to determine our own best plans. and as mereana pointed out, eight out of a possible $68 million for the people to determine our own solutions is not fair; it is not just; it not equitable. we must not get seduced by counterfeit authorities, in imposters. the solutions do not lie in the crown; the answers are not out there. for as mason reminded us the key lies in whanau. the fourteen iwi prevention violence strategies that are alive throughout aotearoa give us ideas about how one elevates and enhances mauriora. we have the leadership within. we have the authentic models refined over generations; in whanganuitanga; in te ao whanau. all we need now is the action to make it happen. we need to empower whanau - to work within our own - to restore and transform our families. to draw on our kaupapa and tikanga, as tools to help work towards a life-long commitment to the restoration of peace within our whanau. to reignite that fire in our souls, to reinstate the capacity to care. to be generous with time. to understand that aroha is the only way to counter hate. to celebrate the collective strength of whanau. believing in what is possible - whanau wellbeing.
let us not be the ones who put up the fence to forever contain us in a paddock not of our making. and let us also resist those who would want to put up fences to stop our potential in its track. we must climb over that fence, and be brave, proud and strong enough to confront the issues that deny us te wana, te wehi, te ihi.
do we believe that aotearoa can be violence free? absolutely.
Shane,
No disrespect but you missed Mike Laws point.
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No Mike, what it means is we all have to own our problems whilst trying to understand the context of actions. A little compassion Mike, but then again folks, this is the guy who wanted Chris Kahui arrested based on the way he looks in a Newspaper photo.
nah i didn't - we all need to own our own stuff. that's ok. just had enough of the race card.
Mike Laws for PM! Shane you have missed his point : because some men are violent domestically does not mean all men need to deal with the problem, just like all maori do not need to tackle the problem of child abuse/jake the muss types...
Mike Laws
it seems on this site that it is okay to say all men should own this problem, but it is not okay to say that all Maori should own their crime statistics, and that all muslims should own the terrorism problem. I see hypocrisy
You are confusing things. Anon was definitely confused, because he got it completely wrong. Replace "own" with "should be concerned about" and things become clearer:
All men should be concerned about the number of men that are domestically violent and not defend those responsible.
All Maori should be concerned about the incidence of child abuse among Maori and not defend those responsible.
All muslims should be concerned about the incidence of terrorism by muslims and not defend those responsible.
Now reread the initial message in the light of the first statement. Make sense now? Look further and I think you'll find that the "not ok" statements that you are you trying to refute, ie. arguments against statements two and three, have never been uttered anywhere in Tumeke. It should be easy enough for you to find quotes to prove otherwise though, if you weren't just setting up straw men...
- Nobody.
???
Want to rephrase all that nobody?
Tikanga has not been practiced by the Maori Party or any Maori Social Organisation. Abuse starts here for maori and then continues into western culture.
Preventing Violence has never helped me or my children, nor has the womans refudge. What happens when you put a bunch of different abused families with different cultures into a shared home... you get more abuse... from the residents of these homes.
It just one big cycle of abuse that is never going to get better.
Practicing true tikanga way for maori should be a must. Urban maori wanting to return home to heal should be awhi not abused.
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No Mike, you said he should be arrested for looking smug, please don't try to wriggle out of hateful remarks that simply don't stand up in sane conversation because you are embarrassed by them now.
That said - Well blogged nobody and Lydia
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