With a Midwife like this, who needs abortion?

A Blog from Secretary of State, Dr Condoleezza Rice

Dear Overseas

We have to bomb Lebanon to save Lebanon. Now I realize that this might sound harsh, but the pain and the suffering we are experiencing now is the birth pangs of a new Country. I accept that there won’t be that many Lebanese left alive to enjoy this new country, but the puppet regime we’ll manage to install in Lebanon as part of our demands to call the Israelis off, will promise us a staging ground to help start ‘birthing’ a new country in Syria and of course Iran. Let’s stop these calls for a ceasefire now, as all that will do is stop woman and children from being blown into tiny bits – any ceasefire must be a ‘sustainable ceasefire’ – this is just some word we have made up from existing words that you’ll kinda be familiar with, but in no way really explains what we are actually doing. For example, ‘unlawful combatant’, ‘Patriot act’, ‘stress position’, ‘Weapons of Mass Destruction’, ‘extraordinary rendition’ and ‘War on Terrorism’. But don’t get all Michael Moore on us now, there is absolutely no conspiracy to allow Israel a free hand to inflame this situation to a boiling point which will finally snap when some Muslim somewhere commits a suicide act in protest which we will all be able to point at and say, “See, we have to fight on for Freedom and Democracy and Freedom”. I also have no idea why we only want to bring Democracy to countries who have oil or are near someone who has oil.

Allah Akbar

Condi Rice
Department of House Slave
United States of War

I apologise if the above is a wee bit flippant, but it is difficult to sit through this latest abomination in the Middle East, without getting really angry at the narrow minded paranoid aggressive, inane argument from those who support the Israeli position.

Remember in Vietnam the famous interview with a U.S. army colonel who, surveying a peasant village that had been set aflame by napalm bombs, said `we had to burn their village to save them from the communists.' That remark was made famous for its absurdity. It became a symbol of the ludicrous character of the U.S. war propaganda.

I received an e-mail from someone complaining about why we should care in NZ because we, “couldn’t do anything about it”. I find this mentality very American, we may be a small country – but we were the first country to give woman the vote, the first to say ’40 hours is a fair working week for the working man’, one of the first to declare ourselves nuclear free – if you mix Maori and Pacific Island communal values with the egalitarian drive of our colonial forefathers, you get a country with a deep seated sense of fairness – and right now the world needs a voice that can make that fairness heard. As New Zealanders we have been brave to stand up for issues of equality and past the red necked bluster of a talkback nation, we are a fair people who can’t stand injustice (as long as we are given the full information before the mainstream media get to twist it to sell newspapers, radio ratings or TV ratings by playing on our insecurities of course, but that’s a blog for another day) .

Self-defense is no excuse for what Israel is doing in Lebanon – there is no military solution to this problem. It comes back as it always does to the occupation and colonization of land which does not belong to Israel. But the Israelis starting point on that debate is ‘But God gave us this country’ – neat-o, not much wriggle room in that argument is there? Makes you wonder who the fanatics really are doesn’t it?