GUEST BLOG: Gonzo Remote: observations with id - bomber blog

Gonzo Remote: observations with id - bomber blog

I don't normally listen to Radio Live! (note that you have to have an exclamation mark after the Live! as if to remind you that it isn't braindead, more like Radio in a coma being drip feed), but with the electricity black out today I scrambled to find enough D size batteries to fill my CD/radio and tune into a station still broadcasting just to reassure myself that the coming of the Antichrist was still some time off.

I had the misfortune of listening to Michael Laws-unto-himself wank on about Rodney Hide getting kicked off Dancing with the Stars. Personally I kinda thought the fact that a 3rd of the country was out of power with hundreds trapped in lifts as a newsworthy item that would dominate conversation, but I suppose that's the reason I no longer work on Radio Live!, because Laws-unto-himself just couldn't fuck up about Rodney Hide and Dancing with the fucking stars. Between Rodney and people interrupting Laws-unto-himself with informational updates of the biggest news story of the day (cut short by Laws-unto-himself asking more pointless questions about Rodney) I got the opportunity to hear Laws-unto-himself explain that there were probably heaps of terrorists in the country now, after we had just thrown Rayed Ali out of the country because he had been in the same class learning to fly as a September 11th hijacker.

Now I don't wanna sound like a pinko tree hugger, but when I was a boy there use to be this thing called EVIDENCE and guilt by association was something assigned to witch hunt history books and American Foreign policy. Laws-unto-himself pointed
out that 5 years ago Rayed Ali had been in the same class as Hani Hanjour, which was a bad thing because Hani Hanjour had decided to try and park a 727 plane into the Pentagon. So we kicked Rayed Ali out of the country based on that, which seems to be paranoia from our spooks in the SIS but then again they didn't have much else to do after convicting Tim Selwyn of
sedition last week.

I didn't ring up and challenge Laws-unto-himself with the fact that he is a fear mongering fuckwit who trades in race baiting
because the power had come back on and thankfully I could do more important things like cleaning the dishes, but I kept the radio on with the hope that Willy Jackson and John Tamihere might at least make me smirk. I was to be disappointed, Tamihere opened the show with a tirade aimed at Muslims and his personal belief that the country was over run with terrorists. Well that was it - I had to call up. Under the name 'Mark' (like Radio Live would let me back on air if they knew it was me) I asked John if it was true that he had a brother in prison for murder. John tentatively agreed that was the case, and I then pointed out that must mean he was a criminal as well, because all we had to kick Rayed Ali out of the country was an association he had 5 years ago with someone who happened to be in his class. Tamihere tried to argue that I wanted to open the boarders wide and let all sorts of Ahmed Zaouis in. I responded by pointing out that was what HE was saying, and what I was saying was that if we are going to find people guilty by association, then let's be even handed with that rule
which means we should arrest Tamihere for murder. This shut the little prick up and I turned back to my dish washing.

I couldn't shake the injustice of Ali's case though and I wondered what deal was cut with the Americans. Apparently they didn't want the SIS to kick Ali out as they wanted to see what he was doing, so when the SIS did just that I wonder if a compromise was cut between the security branches, where is Ali now? Was he renditioned off to Eastern Europe to have hot coals placed on his feet in the freedom torture chamber to confess all he knew? Did we tip off the Americans as to the flight he would be on, where is he? I have no idea but hope someone asks that question.

Meanwhile on cable TV some Israeli military spokesmonster was explaining that although it was sad the Israeli's had blown a picnicking family to bits on a beach, it was important to point out that the Palestinians did in fact fire rockets at them. I watched his eyes as he spoke and wondered if vomited much after these press conferences. I've seen the rockets the Palestinians fire at the illegal Jewish settlers, and have always pissed myself at the 'rocket'description given these shitty little attempts at moving Israel out of the occupied territories, they are in fact glorified sky rockets with more chance of hurting the person lighting them than the perception of laser guided multi-million dollar cruise missiles the word 'rocket' conjures up.

Those expensive precision ones are the type the Israeli's use to assassinate without any judicial discretion any poor bastard the Israeli's deem is today's headline. None of that seemed to matter to the little Palestinian girl who had been sitting in the sun on the beach with her family, I watched her scream with horror, and I really did wonder if that Israeli military spokemonster vomited after he tried to justify that. I didn't get an answer because the next news story was of an American
military spokesmonster who was in the middle of describing the 3 suicides at the Guanatanomo Bay concentration camp as acts of asymmetric warfare against the United States.

I laughed so hard I cried.

Martyn "Bomber" Bradbury